July & August

These last two months have been an utter whirlwind, non-stop action. I celebrated my birthday. Went on vacation. Got floor seats to see a band in a stadium that fits 54,000. Ate some cool food. Spent time with friends. Bought some records. Bought some clothes.  Got some cool vintage stuff. Spent time with nature. Got crafty. Went to the CNE. It was ALL a blast! But for now summer's coming to a close. School starts on the 10th, and I really can't wait. I've always been one of those people who enjoyed school and learning. I'm really excited for my classes this year and I can't wait to learn and experience a bunch of new things. 

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Writings and Musings: Silence.

Writing is such a personal activity. To me writing is the equivalent to an exercise, an exercise for my brain. My brain is constantly working, thinking of ideas, of life or just plain daydreaming of things that may never happen, so I feel like it's on a treadmill of sorts, constantly getting its cardio on. When I'm writing however, the exercise is to focus, stop from going a mile a minute, turn the speed on the treadmill down, just walk. In this way I'm able to get my innermost thoughts onto the page and translated into a way in which I would want them perceived. 

This was a piece I compiled around two years ago, one day when I was bored and had given myself a topic of focus, "silence", and so I ran with it. Enjoy!

10 points if you know which poem the text on the image is from!

The night is so silent. Many are uncomfortable with the idea of silence, it haunts them, it’s something that is avoided, treated as a plague of some sorts. But to me, silence is necessary and can be a beautiful thing, rather than a mysterious figure that more times often than not haunts us in the wee hours of the night. 

I find it’s always there in those perfect moments when an amazing idea is ready to sprout. The printed word comes alive in these moments enveloped by silence. It’s perfect for those times used to ponder on a thought or conversation. It’s the sound of peace and relaxation that can comfort those who have been hounded with the many noises of the outside world. 

Rather than being regarded with a negative connotation I believe that silence should be viewed with the opposite. It can be a wondrous thing. It’s so pure and vacant, but not the empty and menacing kind. It's the kind that is full with complete sureness in itself, the kind that doesn’t need noise to overshadow itself. It’s perfectly naked and bare, able to expose itself, sure in itself and what its purpose is. Moments of silence are the only times that are not flooded with the constant jargon of daily conversation. Blocked out by speech and noises, often completely unnecessary at times. It is one of the only times where reflection and deep inward thinking can take place. No masks. No standards. No watchful eyes. The silence lets you just be. Be yourself.  Not having to answer to anyone. Not having to listen. Just having to be. And this is why silence is necessary.

The cultivation of ones self can occur in moments of silence. 

Staring up at the profoundness and vastness of the night sky and the entire galaxy as I ponder on the orbits of the planets and all of the other wondrous mysteries science has yet to uncover can occur in silence. Special moments occur within silence. Beautiful and simple every day tasks automatically turn into a relaxing and wondrous practice. Folding the laundry with nothing but the soft, buzzing of the refrigerator and furnace and the occasional creeks and ticks of the house in the background, make time seem almost stagnant. Breathing in and capturing the moment. You feel the silence envelope and take over your lungs and being as you inhale deeply.  You are filled with a stillness so great you are almost frozen in place.

Happy Birthday To Me

So your girl is finally 21! It's been a year in the making haha. Looking back and reflecting, this year was an especially great one for me. I felt as if I was a flower and that I came into full bloom in the spring. Or like a baby bird, finally being able to spread its wings and leave the nest. Needless to say there was a lot of change and with that change came a lot of figuring things out. 

I felt as if I really came into myself and found out who I was, what I wanted out of life and generally where I stood and where I wanted to make my place in the world. Now I obviously don't have everything figured out, you never really do, but for the now and the short term I think I know the general direction I want to head in and that's enough to make me happy! 

I got rid of the baggage and clutter, figuratively and literally, donating clothes that I didn't like that dominated my closet, replacing them with pieces that really spoke to me, that I wanted to wear and made me feel like my best self and what I wanted to express to the world. I decorated my room with pieces that represented me as a person and would serve as markers and reminders. I also got rid of the emotional kind of figurative baggage. I was able to eliminate relationships that no longer served me, letting go without any permanent grudges and letting myself heal fully from the wounds they did create.

Like a flower that bloomed my confidence bloomed as well and I felt like I was able to break out of my shell. I made so many new friends and was able to maintain close relationships and show more of myself to people instead of being super introverted and reserved upon meeting them. I also became less concerned with the ole "what will people think of me?" question. I just stopped caring this year and realized that you can't live your life upon the expectations of others because in that way you will then never feel wholeheartedly fulfilled. And when you don't feel fulfilled in the very depths of your heart and soul it's difficult to be happy. So I stopped and instead decided to think, "what will I think of me?". 

I tried so many new things this year as a result to saying "yes" more. When you say "yes" to more things instead of saying "no" it's like you're able to create this positive space, where you're pouring all the good things in, not making any room for the negative. When I said "yes" to more things I was able to make new friends, learn new things, have new experiences and just generally have more fun! It's much easier in life to be rather easy going and have a go with the flow approach than to be uptight because I'm a true believer that "things will work themselves out in the end". Life always has a funny way of working itself out, thanks to the universe, so there's no use in worrying about things too much. And because of this life is much like a wave, let go, ride it out and see where it takes you.  

Along with saying "yes" more I made it a point after reading and feeling spiritually enlightened by Eckhart Tolle's, The Power of Now, to focus more on the present and the now. The past and the future when focused on too much can totally bum you out and there's also nothing you can do to change it, so muddling over it and getting worked up won't do you much good. However, what you can change and fix is the now, the present moment you're currently in. An activity I picked up this year that helped me continue on this path was yoga. Yoga really helped to centre my being and help me become whole and one. When I'm on the mat I leave my worries at the door and focus solely on what is happening right now in the present moment, on the mat and only on the mat. The happenings and shenanigans of the outside world do not matter, all that matters are the moves, how they make me feel and my breathing. It was a really great centring technique and was really beneficial throughout the school year especially, when it seemed as if assignments and the other jargon that comes along with it was attempting to swallow me whole.   

This year was not without its struggles but I'm glad that I was handed those struggles because I was able to conquer them with grace and learn from them and become a more positive person in the process. I feel like a lighter and more focused person and truly happy!

So cheers to another year and happy birthday to me! :)