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Thursday 9 July 2015

Happy Birthday To Me

So your girl is finally 21! It's been a year in the making haha. Looking back and reflecting, this year was an especially great one for me. I felt as if I was a flower and that I came into full bloom in the spring. Or like a baby bird, finally being able to spread its wings and leave the nest. Needless to say there was a lot of change and with that change came a lot of figuring things out. 

I felt as if I really came into myself and found out who I was, what I wanted out of life and generally where I stood and where I wanted to make my place in the world. Now I obviously don't have everything figured out, you never really do, but for the now and the short term I think I know the general direction I want to head in and that's enough to make me happy! 




I got rid of the baggage and clutter, figuratively and literally, donating clothes that I didn't like that dominated my closet, replacing them with pieces that really spoke to me, that I wanted to wear and made me feel like my best self and what I wanted to express to the world. I decorated my room with pieces that represented me as a person and would serve as markers and reminders. I also got rid of the emotional kind of figurative baggage. I was able to eliminate relationships that no longer served me, letting go without any permanent grudges and letting myself heal fully from the wounds they did create.

Like a flower that bloomed my confidence bloomed as well and I felt like I was able to break out of my shell. I made so many new friends and was able to maintain close relationships and show more of myself to people instead of being super introverted and reserved upon meeting them. I also became less concerned with the ole "what will people think of me?" question. I just stopped caring this year and realized that you can't live your life upon the expectations of others because in that way you will then never feel wholeheartedly fulfilled. And when you don't feel fulfilled in the very depths of your heart and soul it's difficult to be happy. So I stopped and instead decided to think, "what will I think of me?". 

I tried so many new things this year as a result to saying "yes" more. When you say "yes" to more things instead of saying "no" it's like you're able to create this positive space, where you're pouring all the good things in, not making any room for the negative. When I said "yes" to more things I was able to make new friends, learn new things, have new experiences and just generally have more fun! It's much easier in life to be rather easy going and have a go with the flow approach than to be uptight because I'm a true believer that "things will work themselves out in the end". Life always has a funny way of working itself out, thanks to the universe, so there's no use in worrying about things too much. And because of this life is much like a wave, let go, ride it out and see where it takes you.  




Along with saying "yes" more I made it a point after reading and feeling spiritually enlightened by Eckhart Tolle's, The Power of Now, to focus more on the present and the now. The past and the future when focused on too much can totally bum you out and there's also nothing you can do to change it, so muddling over it and getting worked up won't do you much good. However, what you can change and fix is the now, the present moment you're currently in. An activity I picked up this year that helped me continue on this path was yoga. Yoga really helped to centre my being and help me become whole and one. When I'm on the mat I leave my worries at the door and focus solely on what is happening right now in the present moment, on the mat and only on the mat. The happenings and shenanigans of the outside world do not matter, all that matters are the moves, how they make me feel and my breathing. It was a really great centring technique and was really beneficial throughout the school year especially, when it seemed as if assignments and the other jargon that comes along with it was attempting to swallow me whole.   

This year was not without its struggles but I'm glad that I was handed those struggles because I was able to conquer them with grace and learn from them and become a more positive person in the process. I feel like a lighter and more focused person and truly happy!

So cheers to another year and happy birthday to me! :)  
   

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